Joy is a preschool student at Meadows Parkway in O’Fallon. The teachers love her. The bus drivers adore her. And Joy loves school. She is learning new ways to communicate. She is speaking new words at school, learning matching games, drawing, painting, making friends, and overall, she is getting a lot out of the experience.
Each day we receive a one-page report card from her teacher. It’s pretty simple. There is a multiple-choice section that reads: I had a …
- “Great day”
- “Good day”
- “Okay day”
Joy’s report card almost always has “Great day” circled.
Then there is a checklist that reads: Today I did well with …
- Following directions
- Following my schedule
- Working independently
- Working in groups
- Completing my classroom/school jobs
Again, Joy’s teacher almost always ticks off every box.
But one day last week, the teacher circled “Good day,” and most of the boxes in the checklist remained unchecked.
Uh-oh.
The teacher, though, helpfully left us a note about Joy’s behavior.
She wrote: “In a silly mood today, wanted to crawl under table and chairs instead of sitting w/ group, laughing and giggling the whole time.”
Thankfully, Joy had not bitten anyone. She hadn’t hit a classmate with a spatula. She hadn’t knocked over someone’s blocks. She wasn’t caught throwing her toys.
But clearly she had not followed the program. She’d refused to listen and obey the teacher. And I can empathize with that. When Joy goes into the front yard at home, she is seemingly unable/unwilling to stop any unwanted behavior, no matter how many times we say “STOP!”
In my mind, I can see Joy crawling under the group table, laughing loudly, daring anyone to get her to come out. I can visualize the teachers getting frustrated because Joy is keeping everyone from doing the group activity.
But I also know that Joy lives up to her name every day. There is nothing contrived about Joy. She loves exploring this tiny world that is her home, her neighborhood, her school, her family. Joy knows no fear, no danger, no worry, no hesitation, no boundaries, no hatred, no exclusion, no disability. At home we have rules, of course. I say “Stop!” and “Not now, Joy!” dozens of times a day. And not every day is a “Great day.” But Joy is determined to fill our lives with joy.
And at home, at least, I will never scold Joy for sitting under a table and giggling. In fact, she does this quite often. Just after a bath, she will often run to Deb’s desk and sit underneath, dripping on the floor and giggling. When I get down on my knees and approach her, she runs, laughing, to a closet or her bedroom. By the time I catch her, she is mostly dry.
So my checklist for Joy might read as follows: Today I did well with…
- Following my heart
- Getting Dad to follow my schedule
- Working on being an independent girl
- Snuggling Mom or Dad at naptime
- Experiencing complete joy
With that list, Joy will get a perfect score every day.
Joy Elizabeth 